Indianapolis Senior Photography & Interviews | Sister Session | Shabana
How lucky am I to have this girl as my sister? Not to mention, someone to wear all the cute vintage clothes I've bought and never gotten to wear myself. Shabana came over with already immaculate winged eyeliner; all I had to do was apply these Vegas Nay Lashes, and we were ready to go!
Thankfully, we had our lovely assistant Carter to
Shabana is a sophomore at IUPUI and has been accepted into the Kelley School of Business. In her interview, she talks about choosing a major, college, and how she overcame depression as a teenager.
"Originally, I wanted to major in journalism because I love writing; I just always wanted to go into magazines- like fashion journalism- but then, once I was in there, they talked about how magazines and newspapers are obsolete now, and we’d actually just be tweeting and it was all about social media.
They were like “Oh, if you’re on social media, you have to have this kind of picture and always be professional.” There were just so many rules.
Now, I’m in marketing. I hope to go into the creative side of marketing where I work for a company- well, I still want to work in fashion- so, let's say I work for Kate Spade; I’d be their marketing coordinator and I would think of different ads. Or, I could be the person who sends the stores planograms for all their displays. Stuff like that."
All I have to say about picking a major is that honestly, I don’t think anyone should pick a major when they’re in high school unless they’re 1000% sure what they want to do. Because the amount of people that change their major is ridiculous. No matter what your major is, you have to have core classes. There are classes that anyone would have to take- like, speech, writing, and stuff that everyone has to take. And then you can take some electives in areas that you’re interested in. Take those classes, and from there, you’ll know what you want to do. If you take one anthropology class and you hate it, you’re not going to be able to major in anthropology."
On how her job in retail changed her:
"Having a job completely changed my social skills. It changed my personality. Putting a shy person in a retail job can either kill you, or it can make you so much better. It sounds like nothing, but when you’re told that you have to yell “Hi guys! Welcome!” from across the room, to someone you don’t even know, it’s terrifying. Now, I’ll be shopping, or I’ll be out at school, and I can talk to people and it’s not a big deal.”
On moving to work in fashion:
"I don’t want to be in Indiana my whole life, but also, it’s home. If I got a job right now in California, it’d be like, “Okay… Well how am I going to move right now and pay for a place?” I don’t really care, as long as I have someone to move with me."
On what she's learned from growing up:
"Accept that you can’t control things, that things are gonna happen in your life that aren’t ideal, and accept that people make mistakes. You don’t have to forgive someone- like if someone murders your mom, you don’t have to be like “Okay, we’re still good.” Just don’t hold grudges, if you’re depressed about it and trying to seek revenge about it, you’re the one who’s suffering your whole life, not the person that you hate. Get over it- for you, not for the other person.
I would just say to not take everything so seriously. Especially not school. When you’re young, school doesn’t matter at all, until you’re in high school. And if you don’t do well on a test, you don’t have to cry yourself to sleep. Especially working in retail, if people yell at me, or people are annoying, I try to smile and just not care anymore."
"You grow up more, and you’re more mature. Once you leave high school, you realize- like, in high school you just know everyone, you just know people, but once you’re out of high school, it filters out the people that you only know of and don’t hang out with. And you only have a few top friends in high school that stay with you. With some of them, you try to stay in touch, and then you just forget that you’re friends. There’s not as much drama anymore about stupid stuff.
I’m always the one that thinks it’s stupid when you’re in a group of friends and one friend has a problem with the other friend, and there’s something going on there, but they don’t want to talk to the other person about it. I’m the one who will be like “Hey, so did you do this?” when they’re together. Because I don’t like confrontation… but I kinda do. I don’t like when people say things behind each other’s backs. I just don’t like drama, so just say it."
On living at home:
"I think that living at home has it’s pros and cons. Like, pro: I’m saving money. A nice apartment downtown is around $1000 a month, so you’re saving thousands of dollars by not moving out. You’re still in the comfort of your own home, you don’t get homesick, you still have your pets, and your family is there to support you. In one way, you don’t have as many distractions, like, you don’t have a roommate who has parties all the time. On the opposite side, it’s nice moving out because you get to be more responsible and you don’t have to drive as far to go to school, and you can be more social because you have roommates and neighbors. It’s harder to meet people when you live at home. Say, you have a friend, and they invite you to a party…. I don’t want to drive 45 minutes downtown and then have to drive back. It’s just annoying. But, I mean, I’m saving so much money."
On being depressed in high school:
"Before I went to online school, and I lost a lot of weight, I was at that point where I was so depressed. I didn’t really have any friends, and I didn’t talk to my friends about it; I was too embarrassed to talk about my weight. I just thought, “I’m never going to lose weight”, because I’d been trying for so long and it never happened. Even when I’d go running everyday, nothing happened. I’d never had a boyfriend. No guys even talked to me, except for creepy guys. You know? It was to the point where I was missing school because I was so depressed. I would pretend I was sick, because I was so depressed. I thought, “I’m not going to go to school, or go to college. What’s the point in college?” I don’t have any money. Everything in my future, I thought, “that’s not going to happen because of x” It was completely to the point where I had no reason to be alive.
I was struggling with stuttering too. You know, in school, the teacher would always call on you and be like, “you read this", and that was the worst thing. I was sitting there, sweating and shaking and hoping that they wouldn’t call on me. That depressed me a lot too, because I didn't want to go to class and have them call on me, or have a presentation or a speech. That, and I wasn’t confident in myself. If you’re not confident in yourself, you go up there to make a speech, and you already have a problem with your speech. You’re stuttering and freezing. I spent so much time by myself, and then I was sad all the time.
Then, I stayed home from school for 3 days or so, and I just said I was sick. My mom started to notice after a few days that I wasn’t sick. She came home from work one day, and I was just sitting on the couch crying. She knew that something was up. I told her everything I’d been going through, and she realized how serious it was.
When I switched to online school, it was the nicest thing ever. I realized there’s life outside of high school; it’s not always that you get up at 6 am, go to school, come home at 3:30, and that’s your day. It’s like, you can get up at 12, go to the library, do online school, go shopping, do you own thing.
Then I lost weight, and I met (my boyfriend) Mannie, and I was like “guys like me?” Every time I think about it, it’s crazy; I almost killed myself. I never would’ve had a boyfriend; I never would’ve lost weight, gone to school, gotten a car. I never thought I’d get my license.
You almost like being sad. You watch sad movies, you feel bad for yourself. It’s almost like I wasn’t motivated.
There are so many people that are in that position, you don’t even realize it. I know how it feels when nothing that anyone can say could make you feel better. Like, “Oh, you’re beautiful just the way you are. In five years, none of this will matter.” I think the only way to feel better is to change your mindset. Say “okay, a lot is going wrong in my life, and I’m not happy with my weight or whatever it is, but I’m not going to stay in bed all day and watch movies. I’m going to go on a walk.” You have to force yourself to do things, and change how you think, because no one else is going to be able to fix it."
Wow, I'm so proud of the person my younger sister has become. Thank you Shabana for sharing such a huge part of your life with us!
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